Nai Tawar Calen Ad
by nyx thranduillon
Summary: A king finally realises where his heart and duty lies. (A short monologue from Thranduil's pov) Written for April Teitho challenge - 'Sickness' Sits within 'The Last Green Leaf' universe.


**Nai Tawar Calen Ad**

There is a sickness that creeps over my home and I just can't hold it back. Standing here, above the canopy atop this giant oak I can see the forest stretch into the distance before me and though it all looks green and fertile to the eye my heart can feel the lie beneath the view. Oh ada, how have I let it come so far?

This blight eats at my very core and it is only now I understand the final words you spoke to me before you turned and walked away into the dawn upon that cursèd field of battle. Calling all to arms as I stood trapped, unmoving, bound by the pledge forced, unwilling from my lips, in honour to remain in place, whilst others fought and died beside their king. 'The forest is in your heart ion nin, for all you were not born within her reach. A gift greater than all others she will bestow upon you in your darkest hour but in the giving will deplete her own resource and she will need your care before the end.' I wondered then how could you leave me there, alone, bereft, the guilt of living eating at my faer but now I see the reason spread before my opened eyes and weep.

'Tis so hard to believe that this was once the beautiful and wondrous place that as an elfling I would play and hide within, whilst you and naneth watched, encouraging my curiosity and sense of enterprise to bloom and flourish in its verdant glow. The very trees would join their song to mine and in their music I would lose all sense of self and time.

I had forgot. My father. Just how deep entwined with Tawar was my life and in forgetting lost the fundamental reason of my being in this world. You taught me to be strong, to rule with dignity and grace, never letting those within my care to glimpse a trace of frailty or weakness that may shatter their security, remove all sense of peace and leave them lost and scattered, leaderless once more. And this I have most surely strived to do, but, and but may be a tiny word that holds within so much, 'twas not enough.

I wonder now about the choices I have made and see that I was blind. To delve and hide away within that rocky fortress, shutting out the world and shrinking back our borders was, I thought, the only way we would survive. To sever bonds of kin and friendship, cut all links to other races, other realms, to sit and bide our time whilst all about may rise above, or fall to darkness, here we would endure. How wrong, how foolish was this dream, this fantasy in which I wove naught but a trap which tightened inexorably, squeezing out our life and vigour, leaving empty husks to fade away, forgotten, into myth.

I would have failed. I would have failed both you and Tawar as the darkness spread and love and light had disappeared without a trace under its sickening haze, I would have failed. If not for one. Oh, and such a one. My heart, my life, my love. The purest, sweetest and most blesséd gift I ever had. My little leaf.

'Twas he who brought me back to life, who taught me how to see the rainbow on the other side. To hear the song within the trees again and find my way back into Greenwood's deep and overwhelming fond embrace. Who showed me we should face the world, not hide away like frightened rabbits, cowering from the poacher and his pot. That way led madness and decay for us and for the forest too, as both so deeply are entwined that should one fall the other will not long in being overcome.

This son of mine, whose heart belongs in all things green and fair, whose life began within these verdant swathes, snatched from the very heart of Tawar, sent to bring me strength and comfort at my lowest point has shown the way. That small and slender sapling carries all the hope and light not only I but all our people now possess. A beacon in the dark that glows so bright this forest blooms again where 'ere he treads. My Laiqualassë.

I will come forth. I will allow no further spread of this disease across my beauteous land. We will unite and fight again with all who would deny the dark its cloying victory, bring to light once more the lands that languish underneath its vile touch.

Atop this tree I pledge anew my vow to Tawar and the land. I will not rest until you are delivered of this blight, restored to life and thriving once again and if it takes my life I'll gladly lay it at your feet. My blood is yours, to quench the fires of fever and paint colour back where death has long held sway, to chase away the dark, until the forest once again is swathed in verdurous hues of radiant, lustrous green.

It will be done, though long and torturous be the path we take, and when at last I come to journeys end and Valinor has called me into West, my head I will be able to hold high. Then, ada, I can say I gave my all, for Tawar, for our people and for you.

Fin

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**A/N**

Nai Tawar Calen Ad. – May the forest be green again. (Translated using Hiswelokes dictionary)


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